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Auctioneering - Eldritch Lacemaking and other Randomness

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August 4th, 2006

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08:34 pm - Auctioneering
So, last night was the Basement clubs' Slave Auction fundraiser. Which was rather fun, actually.

35 people were sold (Though not all were in attendance), and over $1000 was raised. I personally was sold to lena_supercat's Army of Darkness for $28 dollars (which is an improvement on last year, but a bit low considering we had people go for up to $80), so what I have to do is a slightly worrisome mystery.

What else... well, according to laurenmitchell, I am the only person whose outfit can be described as "subdued" whilst wearing a flourescent yellow scarf.

There was also much amusement caused by the running total on the whiteboard as to how many people who had been bought by RobCorp, and how many had been bought by Lena's Army of Darkness. And the terrifying moment they banded together to form the Axis of Evil.

Oh, and our Random Number Generator was chifley.

In any case,I had my quote book handy, so without much further ado, some of the nights more amusing moments.

laurenmitchell: "That's not a pocket full of money, Lara, that's an erection!"

crittcrud: "I'll keep an eye on the erections."

altheas: "Ladies and gentlemen..."
mercdaemon: "And card-players."

mercdaemon: "I'm morally opposed to tofu."

laurenmitchell: "You can't retcon the auction!"

becker_: (At the start of aurelius's auction) "I need my barmaid again, two dollars!"

mercdaemon: "Next, we are going to sell Vidya."
laylika: "What?"
mercdaemon: "So, tell us what you are good at."
laylika: "What?"
wolfishgrin: "She's good at being bewildered."

becker_: "I'll lose all my natural oils!"

neo_leviathan: "The Goldie versus Tristan bidding war for Tristan!"
becker_: (To tinyteddyqueen) "But you'll make me wash!"

neo_leviathan: (To crittcrud) "What can you do to make someone's life better for 12 hours?"
becker_: "Can you brush my hair?"

mercdaemon: "Thirty dollars to the New Canadian Empire!"
(The New Canadian Empire consisted of becker_ and fireflyfaery)

laurenmitchell: "We're all poor Uni students. Except me."

neo_leviathan: "Twenty-nine dollars for Heather!"
blinvisible: "But she'll do it for free."

laurenmitchell: "Yes, she did write down the erection quote."

ranorith: About a potential sale) "He can dance, he can sing..."
wolfishgrin: "He can shit you up the wall."

fireflyfaery: (About forsakendaemon) "He'd make a very good housewarming gift for twelve hours."

mercdaemon: "Number nineteen, as chosen by our resident chooser."

becker_: "Rob, juice me!"

becker_: (Whilst bidding) "Twenty-two, you have to meet my Nan!"

neo_leviathan: "It's a President. Presidents go for premium prices."

wolfishgrin: (After fireflyfaery revealed she was a Med student whilst declaring why to buy her) "Lara, can you write prescriptions?"

becker_: "Thirty-five, I really want to name that smell!"

becker_: "She's got a conscience, it's a real bad deal."

neo_leviathan: "Sold! Unfortunately, to something involving Tristan."

During the sale of neo_leviathan)
mercdaemon: "Eighty dollars going once to the new Corp."
laurenmitchell: "The Darren You're Fucked Corp."

silent_murmer: (In the middle of a moment of dead silence) "All I wanted from you is a back-rub!"

ranorith: "I have a car, I can drive, if you need help with Maths I can tell you people who can help you..."

mercdaemon: "Twenty-five to the Axis of Evil!"

sylver_spiders: "Well, I can identify slug and snail species..."
laurenmitchell: "Ten dollars!"
sylver_spiders: "I do own a corset and spiked sock garters."
laurenmitchell: "Fifteen!"

wolfishgrin: "I do anatomy, so I am good at back-rubs, and eviscerating people...
...Just as a testiment to my courage and insanity, I once helped Tristan clean the laundry off his floor."
tinyteddyqueen: "Twenty-five dollars!"

becker_: (To tinyteddyqueen, as he bidded for her) "You shall become a part of Greater Sweden!"
Immediately after this, becker_ got dubbed "Ikea"

becker_: "I want to establish RobCorp as an actual corporation. I want to make hime enter a quarterly BAS statement."

chifley: "And the next random number is Lauren!"

aurellia: (On the phone to a mystery person) "It looks like I am going to become a member of RobCorp."

aurellia: (Still on the phone, to the now mystery phone bidder) "I don't think you can beat RobCorp, they are like the Illuminati."

blinvisible: "I just wanted to buy a Socialist."

At one point, we had the formation of the Weird Arse Amalgamation, which consisted of RobCorp, mercdaemon and laurenmitchell

silent_murmer: "Right now, all I can do is cough on people."
tinyteddyqueen: "Ten dollars!"

blinvisible: "She has a corset, ten dollars!"
de_chel: "I have a corset."
blinvisible: "And I bid ten dollars for you, too."

tinyteddyqueen: (After texting fuzzie_madness about her sale to becker_) "Katie says 'Oh crap!'"

harkon: "You have a naked Joe on your conscience."

laurenmitchell: "What the hell am I supposed to do with a third of Lena?"
Current Mood: amusedamused

(14 comments | Leave a comment)


(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
Date:August 4th, 2006 11:57 am (UTC)
Thank you, I'l change that. *changes*
[User Picture]
Date:August 4th, 2006 12:10 pm (UTC)
And Vidya is laylika...
[User Picture]
Date:August 4th, 2006 12:14 pm (UTC)
*edits liek whoa*
[User Picture]
Date:August 4th, 2006 12:17 pm (UTC)
*giggles liek woah*
[User Picture]
Date:August 4th, 2006 12:31 pm (UTC)
Me and my l33t editing skillz.
[User Picture]
Date:August 4th, 2006 12:21 pm (UTC)
Thankyou for yet another amusing read.... :oP
[User Picture]
Date:August 4th, 2006 12:31 pm (UTC)
Hey, all I did was copy down what people said, you should be thanking all them for the witticisms.!
[User Picture]
Date:August 4th, 2006 01:05 pm (UTC)
Sounds like you had a fantastic evening!
[User Picture]
Date:August 4th, 2006 01:17 pm (UTC)
My friends are so crazy. But in the good way.
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
Date:August 4th, 2006 03:30 pm (UTC)
You people just love correcting me.
[User Picture]
Date:August 5th, 2006 01:56 am (UTC)
Hello! Found you through the Infinite Images LJ...

Just wanted to say, Eileen is silent_murmer. She'd be all sad if she were the only one without an LJ link. ;)

The slave auction night was fun. :) Glad you wrote the quotes for this year too.
[User Picture]
Date:August 5th, 2006 07:17 am (UTC)
Thankies for the info. *changes*
[User Picture]
Date:August 5th, 2006 03:22 pm (UTC)
Have you found out what you have to do yet? Maybe it's stealing a priceless diamond or taking over the world or something?
[User Picture]
Date:August 5th, 2006 03:23 pm (UTC)
Not as yet. It remains a slightly worrying mystery.

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