February 23rd, 2009
|09:00 pm - I really do want to post about more cheerful things. Give it a while.|
So, the funeral appears to be scheduled for this Friday. Which means I shall be once more taking off from the iPartment as of Wednesday, and returning at some time on the weekend. I haven't even finished unpacking yet.
On a travel related note, you hear about the bomb that killed tourists in Cairo? I had lunch in one of those cafes about three weeks ago.
And so that this post isn't all depressing: Heath Ledger got his Oscar, to the surprise of no-one. Which is only kind of depressing.
Current Mood: melancholy
Sometimes cheerful things refuse to present themselves. Life is pants like that.
It's making me feel guilty about being excited about fannish stuff.
The day my stepfather died my mum and brother and I had a giant Buffy binge. Anything that makes things less awful is OK, and fannish excitement is probably good for your brain's self-preservation right now and doesn't in any way mean you care less about real things.
And I am slowly turning into a self-help book but that doesn't mean I'm wrong. Ahem.
I'm not unfamiliar with the concept - one of the reasons I stopped here, instead of going home with Mum and The Sister (aside from wanting clean clothes) was that spending a whole week in a tiny town with no distractions would just make me feel worse.
It doesn't change the fact that as soon as I stop reading/watching whatever the current distraction is, I feel bad about enjoying it.
Yeah, knowing in theory that it's OK doesn't make it feel less bad. Which is a bit rubbish. I try to think of it as putting my feelings off until I can handle them better (or at all) but then my relationship with my own brain is not a very healthy one so I don't seem to approach it in sensible ways.
Ho hum. Internet hugs and sympathy and be nice to yourself. xxx
Currently, I'm trying to work out what one wears to a funeral in 30+ degrees Celsius weather.
|Date:||February 23rd, 2009 06:18 pm (UTC)|| |
Hang in there. Happier things will come eventually. Take all the time now that you need to be sad, or distracted or whatever. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.
It's not that so much as, well, I'm currently wanting my life to just settle down and be vaguely normal for a bit. There is way too much drama in my life right now.