Drakyndra, Evil Master of Fandom (drakyndra) wrote,
Drakyndra, Evil Master of Fandom

Slaves! Get Your Slaves!

Well, for those on my flist who aren't actually Second Floor Types, today was the Slave Auction. If you don't know what this is, basically, people get a chance to "buy" another person, to be their personal slave (ie. do everything they want) for a 12 hour period. Of course, there were conditions, and no one could be forced to do anything they had a serious problem with and all that.

Anyhoo, details of the sales were as follows: neo_leviathan was the auctioneer. 25 people were sold. The highest price was for annatheannoying, who was sold for $59. Second was neo_leviathan, for $33 (bit of a jump there), and the lowest price was for some random guy I don't know, named Steven, for $10.

I personally go sold for $22, and was bought by altheas. So watch this space for whatever it is I am due to do.

Oh, and all the money raised was put into the various Second Floor Clubs.

Several people managed to accumulate enough slaves to create an Army of DarknessTM - or at the very least, an Army of Moderate Gloom. And the main aimed of people getting sold seemed to be getting a higher price than that of Tim - $15, if anyone was interested.

Anyway, I spent quite a large bit of the night with my notebook out, copying down amusing quotes. I ended up with 19 pages of my mini-notebook filled with quotes, and I managed to finish my old one, and get a few pages into my nice shiny white one.

So look below for all your amusement needs:

One of the Rules for the buyers: Sexual favours by private arrangement only.

Unknown Person: (To annatheannoying) "So, you didn't become President for the power trip?"
annatheannoying: "No, for the doughnuts."

mercdaemon: (To neo_leviathan) "You know what comes after two, Darren?"
becker_: "No, he only thinks in binary."

neo_leviathan: "Come on, does anyone want to save Suresh from a fate worse than a fate worse than death?"

neo_leviathan: "You don't want your life in my hands - or your soul, or your dignity."
becker_: "You have any of those three?"

becker_: "Come on, I want some services performed!"

becker_: "Since when do you have money? Have you been drug laundering again?"

becker_: "I've got a sporran we can put dry ice in!
Come on, it's never harmed me.
It would make a great wedding present!"

neo_leviathan: "Tim is the cheapest slave so far. Who wants to tell him that?"
saikogrrl: "He's a cheap transvestite!"

becker_: "You can't put a red hat into dips, man."
melbournian: "Can you put Coke in dip?"

becker_: (About wolfishgrin) "Can I make him into a beer maid?
I want to make him wear a dress. I've got something at home he could wear..."

wolfishgrin: "I could wash cars, I can reach the top quite easily.
...I could steal you a car!"

becker_: (To altheas) "I'm all yours,big boy!"

altheas: "Come on, save me from a fate worse than Tristan!"

saikogrrl: "Describe what sort of muffins you are wearing."

becker_: (About neo_leviathan) "He's from K-mart, he has to break mirrors for a living."
neo_leviathan: "Yes, I'm currently up to 747 year bad luck."

neo_leviathan: (While selling me) "Anyone willing to put Melissa through the horror of coming to Uni in a plain brown outfit, and no accessories?"

wolfishgrin: (About lena_supercat) "Can we duct tape her to a stick?"

becker_: "No-one can go for higher than me - my ego is a fragile little bubble."
altheas: "Tristan's ego just went!"
becker_: "Oh, shit!"

saikogrrl: "I can do English tutoring, and help with essays, and I have a large collection of whips."
blinvisible: "Ten dollars!"

altheas: "37 dollars, and five pence!"
neo_leviathan: "I'll hold you to that."
altheas: "37 dollars and one million lira."
neo_leviathan: "Sorry, that's a lower bid than your last."

wolfishgrin: (To lena_supercat) "You don't have that much money!"
lena_supercat: "Yes I do."
wolfishgrin: "Not for long."

neo_leviathan: (To becker_) "Tristan, what have I told you about a cow's behind, your head and meeting like a socket wrench?"
mercdaemon: "Was that the one where they walked into a bar?"

bellmeister: "My Physics degree ain't worth Fourteen dollars!"

neo_leviathan: "Adrian has now used his phone-a-friend. He is now phoning an acquaintance."

wolfishgrin: (To becker_) "Tristan, do you want to be known as 'Duke' Tristan, or 'Darth' Tristan?"

neo_leviathan: (While selling Adrian) "Twenty-six dollars."
becker_: "Anyone for a conglomerate to see Adrian in an apron?"
wolfishgrin: "Twenty-seven dollars!"
Adrian: (On the phone to Angela, who is also bidding for him) "Whatever you do, just keep going!"
becker_: "She just wants to see him in an apron."
Adrian: "Oh, she can get that for free."

neo_leviathan: (About Angela on the phone) "Okay, she'll pay Thirty dollars, and she'll put him in a wedding dress and take photos."

becker_: "You think I could buy those aprons in bulk?"

annatheannoying: "I'll trade you two sheep for Scott."

altheas: (About lena_supercat) "She's already got the largest Army."
mercdaemon: "I'm waiting for the Monopoly card to come up."

ranorith: "I'll help you with Maths...while wearing a dress."

Geoff: "I can bullshit my way through all my subjects."
Me: "It's called being an Arts Student."
wolfishgrin: "Bullshitting your way through Arts isn't a skill."
blinvisible: "No, it's a necessity."

neo_leviathan: (Reading a text message from laurenmitchell) "No! I am not being sold! I see no reason to be sold!"
saikogrrl: "Fifteen dollars!"

blinvisible: (In a text message to ephant) "You are now being sold. Congratulations!"
ephant's text back: "Hey, I didn't agree to that. Okay!"

mercdaemon: "Damn. I think I got bought by the wrong Army of Doom."

neo_leviathan: "Kate's got a pair..."

altheas: "The II Committee. Got to collect them all."

blinvisible: "I can make Elise play Magic!"
neo_leviathan: "Stefan, you evil, evil person. I congratulate you!"

becker_: "Damn hospital food. They had nice roast pork the other day, though."
(Everybody looks at him)
"What? The person was in a coma!"

becker_: "You must cook a nutritious meal, from the contents of this fridge."
neo_leviathan: "That's surprisingly easy - we now have a frozen squid in there."
becker_: "So that's where that went."

ranorith: "Who's Louise? I bought her."

annatheannoying: "Leave my iPod out of this. It's innocent."

becker_: (To altheas) "I have CPR training. Since you bought me, I can give you mouth-to-mouth!"
altheas: "I own you - I can force you to give mouth-to-mouth to others."
becker_: "Aha! My ambulance training strikes back!"

mercdaemon: "You know, that Darth Vader mask gave me ideas..."

neo_leviathan: "I can make you shorter...I know how to use a chainsaw."
wolfishgrin: "Everyone here knows how to use a chainsaw. It's a requirement."

becker_: "My Army of Darkness is just to serve me beer."

becker_: "I am Homo Tristianus."

becker_: "My tattoo's classy - it's like a set of instructions."

Me: "I'll go anywhere that has vegetarian."
wolfishgrin: "You eat vegetarians?"

Me: "That's my slogan for tonight: 'Mind went Wrong Places!'"
altheas: "Closely followed by the rest of your body."

becker_: "It's always Lemon Fresh or Lavender Fresh. Why do toilets always have something beginning with 'L'?"
wolfishgrin: "Lesbian Fresh?"

lena_supercat: "Who else would I believe in, other than myself?"
altheas: "Cheesecake"

(The next couple are from an impromptu II Committee meeting at the restaurant)

wolfishgrin: "Can I object to something, just for the fun of it?"
Tobias: "I object to the fact I can't hear you."
wolfishgrin: "Seconded."
becker_: "Thirded."
wolfishgrin: "I object!"

altheas: "Tristan, pour pepper down your throat."
fa11ing_away: "Motion seconded!"

becker_: "If I get naked, I want it to be for a good team name."

altheas: "Tristan will reach the Grand Final, undefeated, on body odour."

fa11ing_away: "I like my ears."

fa11ing_away: "I only bought Scott because I could imagine him in a dress."

becker_: "I'm not scary!"

becker_: "How come I've only go the spirits menu?"
wolfishgrin: "Because they know you."

wolfishgrin: "...It comes out your floppy drive."

becker_: "These balls are making me cold!"

becker_: "It's crunchy underneith my balls."

becker_: "There's a little bit of Tristan in all of us."
mercdaemon: "I want my little bit of Tristan surgically removed."

I usually don't quote myself, but altheas heard me, and insisted I put this in...
Me: (Just after I have dropped my spoon onto the floor) "There is no spoon!"

becker_: "...So there I was, running through Dandenong, wearing only a pair of pink tracksuit pants two sizes too small, with a 200 kilogram man chasing me with a machete."

ETA: And some comments I have been informed I need to add to my entry:

toley_elf: (Says something random about having a hole in her pocket.)
saikogrrl: Haha, wouldn't that be more useful if you were a guy?
Random person: It depends what you want to use it for....
saikogrrl: Ahahaha, and we wonder why Tole needs such strong glasses!
toley_elf: *doubles up and falls over*

saikogrrl: (To annatheannoying) You're Anna the Annoying.
annatheannoying: ... *blinks*
lena_supercat: From Livejournal.
annatheannoying: ... *nods*
saikogrrl: I'm saikogrrl!

I also took a few photos. Most aren't hugely relevent, but these two were amusing, so I thought I might share them.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

I call this image "French Darth Vader" - note the beret.

Oh, and Vader is being played by altheas. *shakes head*

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

And the start of lena_supercat's diabolic plans for the Army of DarknessTM she bought tonight.

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