Drakyndra, Evil Master of Fandom (drakyndra) wrote,
Drakyndra, Evil Master of Fandom

Crash! Bang! Ow!

Meh. Today was...odd. For a day where I stayed at IH and basically did very little, a surprising amount seemed to actually go on.

Firstly, I had self-help again. As I wasn't nearly as tired as the horror of last week, there was somewhat less of the Me/Wall OTP going on. I was rather more bored this time round, though.

Well, except for the part where someone in the kitchen managed to bump a whole tray of cups off the trolley, and they all smashed on the floor. That was incredibly cool.
No, I'm not destructive at all, really. I swear. Why do you ask?

Oh, and rather more notable, but lessentertaining was the bit where I managed to slip over in the kitchen, and crash down onto my elbow, and experience that can be summed up in one word: Ow.

So know I have to do everything with my right hand. Which isn't that much of a problem, considering I am right handed. But still...


Did a bit of work for Creative Writing. Have come to the conclusion my mind is completely insane. The story I am writing, the very first line is "It was a dark and stormy night."

And then there was the last IH GM for the year. Mostly boring to start with, until we got to the O-week auditions. Which were...pure crack.

Seriously, they were the most crackified things I have seen in ages. So naturally I have written down a semi-detailed rundown of them all.

So, the scene is set with a tarp over the stage area of the hall. This does not bode well.

Act 1: First up is two girls in blue bikinis, wrestling in an inflatable pool full of milk, to the tune of Milkshake. At this point I realise just how insane these auditions are going to be.

Act 2: And where would we be with random cross-dressing (both male and female)? With the addition of hotpants, kinky dance numbers, and some poor guy getting his head partially shaved whilst on stage.

Act 3: We have two girls (one cross-dressed, one with fake breasts) demonstrating certain Science faculty related "positions" to an informative narrator. Positions include: Engineering = the Car-jack; Agriculture = the Wheelbarrow; Dental Science = the 69 and Vet Science...you can guess.

Quote from the Narrator: "Don't try this at home. However, if you do, take pictures and send them to IHGlobe@[email]." (The fact that this is the college newsletter's email is what makes this classic)

Act 4: 5 guys miming that parody "One Backstreet Boy is Gay." Complete with in character actions, and disturbingly good dance routines. Which switches into Spice Girls, and yet more crossdressing. Still good dance moves, though.

Quote from someone in the audience: "Joe's in it, it's not going to be clean."

Act 5: Lots of cheerleader dancing. Hollaback Girl (with real bananas, which amused me. Especially because when they were brought out, everyone was expecting something smutty). Devolving into a girly pillow fight, and a shameless attempt at sucking up to the student club via My Favourite Things.

Act 6: Several boys coming onto stage in academic robes, then whipping them off to reveal...boxers and bodies wrapped in bubble wrap. Three guesses as to what went on next, and the first two don't count.

Act 7: "Lost in Zambia", which harkens back to the AGM. (see here) Included an intro with the Star Wars Opening Theme (complete with crawl), and the epic tale of the Zambians and their evil laughter. And the fact that they apparentally like to "Move It, Move It".

Act 8: Wouldn't It Be Nice... with O-week lyrics. A bit crappy, really.

Act 9: Yet more cross-dressing, but this time with a plot. Well, sort of. Three transvestites seduce a rather drunk man. Ensues as expected. The main issue I had with it was that the guy in it was wearing a tie and white shirt, which was...involved in the "seduction." Which made me think of Tie!Porn. (Anyone who reads the stuff at time_and_chips will get that one)

Not a mental image I like to have, particularly considering the content of the sketch. *goes to find some more pleasant Tie!Porn. Wonders if doona_rose has updated yet*

Act 10: "I am a sperm" With actions. And a speedo. 'Nuff said.

So that was O-week auditions. Complete with an idiot with a leaky water pistol shooting at everyone, and curiously unbreakable water balloons.

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